Sick, Sad World

I don’t often get political on this site, but despite the risk of losing what few readers I have, I feel I need to say something here:

If you can’t have the common decency to wear a mask in public, then you are objectively a Bad Person. You should feel bad about yourself. You are a poor example for your children, should you have any… and I really hope you don’t. Finally, you are a threat to everyone around you.

No, I don’t care about Your Rights being “trampled upon”. Paraphrasing something someone once said, your right to swing your arm ends, when your hand strikes me. Period. You indeed do have rights, we all do. But your right to walk around in public not wearing a mask (like a jackass, mind you), ends when it endangers everyone else around you.

Which it does, despite what Alex Jones or Fox News tells you.

You may not think you’re sick, but you have no way of knowing, since you can be contagious up to two weeks prior to showing symptoms. So you saying “I’m not sick, why should I wear a mask?” is utter folly. Plus, even if you don’t care if you get sick, you can catch the Novel Coronavirus, then spread it to others who you do care if they catch it.

In short, stop think about yourself only, you selfish prick.

Yes, I went there.

Dealing with this virus falls under the Pee Test. Basically, imagine we’re all walking around nude. No, I don’t want to think about that, either, but you’re forcing my hand. Anyway, everyone is nude. Now imaging that some guy starts peeing. I mean he’s just letting it all out, peeing everywhere, not caring where it goes, or who it hits.

Hint: That’s you right now, but I digress.

To continue, if everyone is nude, everyone around this jackass (again, You) is getting peed on. It’s a mess. But now, imagine that someone makes that jackass (again, You) wear some pants. Now, when that guy needs to urinate, he only pees on himself, for the most part. I wouldn’t want to hug them or anything, but at least you can walk past them on the street, and stay mostly urine-free.

Now let’s go a step further. What if the EVIL GOVERNMENT were to make everyone wear pants, in this scenario? Maybe even some shoes, and shirts, and such? Now, guess what? When that jackass (again, You) goes on a pee-spree, the chance of anyone else getting urinated on is very, very low.

That’s what we’re shooting for, by asking everyone to wear a damn mask in public.

Where this analogy breaks down, obviously, is in two points.

  1. Of course, you don’t like to think of yourself as that jackass who would be peeing on others. Although you totally are, because you won’t wear a mask, which makes you a jackass by default.
  2. The jackasses in this case (as there are many out there) aren’t peeing, but instead are simply breathing out the virus. They don’t have to cough or sneeze, to get others infected. Most don’t have symptoms, so are a risk to everyone around them without anyone being the wiser.

That’s why everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – needs to be wearing masks in public. Period.

Then there are those jackasses (most likely You, again… You know who you are) who bitch and complain about their rights being trampled, because the store they want to shop at won’t let them in, unless they wear a mask. These jerks say their rights are again being trampled, that they have a “medical condition” that they don’t have to disclose (due to HIPPA), which prevents them from wearing a mask, etc.

Okay, asshole, here’s the deal. Do you remember the old signs in public businesses that read “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service”? You still see it at many restaurants, even now. That came about from other public health crisis in the past, such as when Tuberculosis was a major health concern. It is also why you can’t spit on a public street in most cities, actually.

Well, here’s a clue for you little assholes: If a business or public space can demand that patrons wear shirts and shoes to gain service there, then they can make you wear a mask, too. It is in the interest of the Public Good.

You know, that thing you obviously don’t give two shits about, unless it directly affects you?

Again, no one is trampling your rights. People with health concerns that prevent them from wearing a mask are being accommodated by businesses offering them curbside pickup of the items they wish to purchase, etc. That, by the way, is all the HIPPA and ADA regulations require: Reasonable Accommodation. It doesn’t require that they give a potential Typhoid Mary the right to bounce around in their business all they like, potentially infecting everyone inside, because they don’t want to wear a mask.

Oh, one last thing: Masks aren’t going to kill you. They aren’t going to make you sick, either. If they were a threat to people wearing them, then why aren’t surgery teams dropping dead every day, from wearing them for extended periods of time while conducting surgeries? And why aren’t medical staff dropping like flies from wearing masks while working 12+ hour shifts every day of this crisis?

If you chuckleheads were right, we’d have almost no nurses or doctors left alive, having all fallen to COVID-19 (if masks made it easier to catch the disease) or carbon dioxide poisoning (which is a concept so incredibly stupid in this case, that it doesn’t even bear discussion).

But hey, here’s a thought. The next time you have a surgery done, make sure to tell your doctors, nurses, and other surgical staff to not wear any masks while they are working on you. Because masks don’t work, right? You wouldn’t want them getting sick from their own carbon dioxide they exhale, and you’re healthy enough that any germs or viruses they exhale certainly won’t get you sick, right?

Here’s the thing, though: I know this little discussion won’t change your mind. Assholes like you who simply don’t want to wear masks because “MAH RIGHTS!” won’t be dissuaded from your hopelessly deluded path, no matter what anyone says, because you’re stupid and don’t give two shits about anyone else. Period. But it might help others identify just how blindingly narcissistic you are, and advise them to stay very, very far away from you.

Because you’re peeing on everyone, and frankly, we’re getting fucking sick of it.

I'm the editor, publisher, and primary "talent" here at

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.