Spring has sprung, and I’m pissed.

Look, I know it’s the middle of winter, at least according to the calendar. But I look out the window… Nope, that’s not winter. Hell, that’s not even early spring!

  • Birds nesting everywhere.
  • Trees getting ready to explode with leafy goodness.
  • Temperatures in the mid-50’s, with overnight lows in the 40’s on average.
  • Not a drop of snow to be seen in weeks (none ever stuck anyway)

Face it, here in the Pacific Northwest, we didn’t get a winter this year. Sure, it got cold for a spell, and it almost-sorta-kinda tried to snow down to the lowlands once or twice (failing miserably each time), but this wasn’t a winter.

I look outside, and the partly sunny skies and budding spring-like conditions, and have to wonder: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! It isn’t even mid-February, we’re supposedly at the coldest, deepest part of Winter, and… It’s quite beautiful out, with temps nearing 60 degrees today.

Sixty.

Let that sink in a moment.

Now I know some are saying “Here’s your proof of Climate Change!”, but no, that’s not it. At least it isn’t only that to blame. I live in a temperate rainforest, where historically, it just doesn’t snow very much, to be honest. But at the very least, we can usually look forward to a few good cold spells with icy or possibly snowy conditions somewhere from late December through mid-February.

Not this year.

I swear to Gawd, if I don’t get at least one solid fucking White Christmas before I die, someone is getting kicked straight in the jumblies!

By Scormus

I'm the editor, publisher, and primary "talent" here at Scormey.com.

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