I buy a lot of stuff off of Kickstarter, Amazon, and other online services. I mean a lot of stuff, like ridiculous amounts of items, mostly electronics and tabletop gaming supplies. So let’s just say I’m pretty familiar with the shipping habits and costs of the usual delivery services.

Of all of these, Federal Express is the absolute worst.

I don’t get it, either. There is literally no reason why Fed-Ex should be as bad as they are, but the proof is in the pudding. I can site multiple recent examples that show they are absolute trash, when it comes to shipping. They are slow, can’t meet delivery dates if their lives depended upon it, and cost way too much in the first place.

Example #1: I recently purchased a roleplaying supplement, and the only shipping option available was via 2-day Priority delivery. This was rather expensive, but I paid it, because there was no other option. Turns out, the book was being shipped via Fed-Ex, and when they finally got around to providing tracking details, they expected to deliver the book in 10 days. Not the 2 days I paid for, but 10. Which was later updated to be 12 days, because they left it sitting in Fort Worth, Texas for three days. Then when it arrived in my state, it went from a Fed-Ex distribution center an hour from the distribution center outside of my city, and was sent four hours north to one in Washington… then it was handed off to the US Postal Service to deliver, instead!

Nearly two weeks in total.

Meanwhile, I did some research, and the US Postal Service charges less for their 2-day Priority shipping, and actually delivers in… shockingly… two days! But hey, maybe this was just a one-time error? The publisher of the book I bought refunded the shipping costs due to this fiasco, but they shouldn’t have to eat the cost for Fed-Ex’s bad service. Anyway…

Example #2: I backed a nifty gaming supplement on Kickstarter months ago, and now it is finally being delivered! Unfortunately for me, they are shipping via Fed-Ex, and this bodes ill, based upon my recent experience. But hey, they said it would arrive in just a few days, so maybe they would be able to deliver this time?

They actually came through! Shocking, I know.

While the supplement made decent time getting across most of the nation, then stopped at the same distribution center that sent my last Fed-Ex delivery to Washington, instead of down to me, just over an hour away. So when I saw that, I assumed the same would happen here, especially when they changed the delivery date to “Unknown”.

Here’s the thing, though. They actually sent my package to the right town this time, and still delivered it on the promised date! I know, because I was sitting in the living room when it arrived, which was heralded by a mighty “THUMP!” on my porch.

The delivery guy didn’t step up on the porch, set the box down, then knock on our door to let us know it had arrived. Instead, from about halfway down the walkway to our porch, he chucked the box at our front door with a mighty Yeet!

Yes, he just threw the box at our house and called it a proper delivery.

Seriously.

It is a very good thing that what I was having delivered was not fragile or in anyway damaged, but nevertheless, that is not how you deliver a package! He needed only walk another ten feet to reach my front door, was it really that difficult to necessitate throwing the box on the porch and walking away?

In the end, Fed-Ex is a horrible shipping service. They charge way too much, deliver slower than the Postal Service does, and end up shipping the package through the USPS themselves, before it finally arrives. It is mind-boggling that anyone – I mean ANYONE – uses Fed-Ex for shipping, when they could deliver faster and cheaper through other services.

Meanwhile, Amazon ships almost exclusively via the USPS (at least from their distribution centers to our home), and we almost never have a problem with deliveries. When we use other services for orders, and they ship via UPS or USPS, likewise, almost no issues with deliveries.

The only service that can’t seem to deliver on-time is Fed-Ex.

Now if Fed-Ex were some budget-friendly delivery service, I might be able to forgive the tardiness they exhibit… but they aren’t. They cost more than the other services, yet deliver lower quality service, and are slower to boot! I just don’t get it!

Anyway, I just needed to rant about this some. When given the option of delivery services, I will never use Fed-Ex, and if Fed-Ex is the only option available, I will look into purchasing whatever it is I wanted through other means. Whether that means buying it in person, locally, or through a different online service, it doesn’t matter. I am sick to death of watching Fed-Ex drag their feet to make deliveries to my house, which isn’t exactly in the boonies. I live in one of the largest urban areas in Oregon, right along Interstate 5, the largest freeway connecting all of the west coast states.

There is literally no excuse for this poor service. None.

Fuck you, Fed-Ex.

By Scormus

I'm the editor, publisher, and primary "talent" here at Scormey.com.

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