Sigh.

So I had a whole bunch of Labs to do recently, in preparation for the TEE happening at the end of the month, as well as for my quarterly A1C check. Yay, got to have ALL of the blood taken, because it isn’t at all difficult to draw blood from me (sarcasm detectors going nuts).

On top of all that, as I write this, I’m sitting at home in the dark, when I should be at work. Why? Because, when I sleepily got up and started to walk to the bedroom to sleep the day away, as usual, I ran into a bit of a snag. You see, my left foot is still quite numb due to my sciatica and diabetes, especially in the toes, so I have been known to accidentally smack it into stuff.

Well, this time, it was a rather solid piece of luggage I use to carry my roleplaying materials and laptop I use to record the “Knights ot the Tabletop” podcast. It is big, heavy, and really doesn’t budge when accidentally kicked.

… and the two smallest toes on my left foot got snagged on a seam of the luggage and remained with it, while I fell forward, screaming.

… Into the television.

… With my knees smashing right into the edge of the TV stand.

… Did I mention I normally can’t feel my toes on my left foot? Yeah? Well I sure as Hell could feel this!

So, the good news. My knees ended up only bruised and sore. I didn’t manage to break the Television, either, which was really good, since it is my primary source of entertainment at home, and I’d rather not have to go buy another one.

The bad news? Well, the next-to-last toe on my Left foot (the one right next to the ‘Pinky” toe), seems to be mostly okay. Sore, likely jammed, but it’ll be okay.

I broke my pinky toe.

Again.

And briefly dislocated it.

Again.

Plus I managed to pull something in my left hip, while twisting while falling in agony, and trying not to crash-land into our expensive electronics.

But I can deal with the hip, since it is not something new. Painkillers, take it easy, apply hot and cold packs as needed, to help the tissues heal. As for my pinky toe, that’s another issue entirely.

Did you know that medical professionals usually won’t do anything when you break your pinky toe, especially where I did, in the bone at the very tip of the toe? At best, if it is a piece of the toe closer to the foot, they might splint it and give you some painkillers. No cast, no real assistance with helping it get fixed.

I know this, because I’ve broken this particular bit of my left pinky toe before.

So, after getting the dislocated toe back into its joint (not for the squeamish, but necessary), I had to assess the rest of the toe. First of all, we had something new: It was bleeding, rather a lot, actually. My first thought was that maybe I had a compound fracture this time, but no bone was sticking out. The toenail was still in place, and seemed to be mostly okay, but My Lovely Bride™ feels it got jammed, and the blood was coming from the injured nail bed. Perhaps, but I was still concerned, since there is a huge dark patch at the end of the toe, apparently full of blood.

A fracture that poked into the flesh at the end of the toe but didn’t go all the way through? Semi-compound, if you will (I’m no medical expert)? I really can’t say, but we did get the bleeding to stop, so that’s a good sign. Nevertheless, for a toe that is usually numb, it was distinctly painful to touch, which is odd when the skin of the toe is still numb.

That’s how I know the tip of my toe is broken. Again.

Note how I keep saying “again”? Been here, done that, got the Motherf**king tee-shirt.

Anyway, so I’m here sitting in the dark, while my foot, knees, and hip throb with pain. I haven’t been able to sleep much, because of the pain, and got rather shocky for a while. My Lovely Bride™ gave me some orange-flavored sugar-free Powerade, got me to eat a bit of soup, and has been otherwise making sure I don’t do anything else remarkably stupid.

Because, let’s not sugar-coat it: This was remarkably stupid.

Ask me how many times I’ve done this. Go ahead, ask.

At least five times. Not always with the same toes, mind you, but pretty much the same story. Numb Foot meets Immovable Object. Foot suddenly screams with pain. Your Humble Narrator starts screaming immediately thereafter, with twisted and often broken toes to be sorted out.

So, what’s the moral of the story? If you find your feet losing feeling, especially in the toes, go see your Doctor about it. Don’t be a dumba** like me, who ignored the issue for years, before getting it checked, and ending up with the damage mostly having been done at that point. Also, don’t wait until you are falling asleep in your chair to go to bed. Do it beforehand, so you don’t accidentally smack your numb foot into nasty, bitey objects that hate toes.

I’m going to go back to sipping on Powerade and feeling sorry for myself now.

By Scormus

I'm the editor, publisher, and primary "talent" here at Scormey.com.

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