Putting Myself ‘Out There’

Putting Myself ‘Out There’ post thumbnail image

So, I may have had an epiphany. Either that, or a seizure, I’m not quite sure yet. Regardless, something has come to mind of late, and I feel like it’s time I share this here:

I might just quit doing Twitch.

You see, I started doing regularly Twitch back in early 2018, after YouTube stole away my monetization, so they could give the pennies I was earning to bigger content creators. And for a time, I really loved livestreaming on Twitch, I enjoyed the immediate interaction with viewers, and it was all just so fresh and new.

Now? Not so much.

I don’t feel like I’m having all that much fun on Twitch anymore. When someone new comes into my stream, I more often than not feel like I am being ridiculed and/or overly scrutinized for how I play whatever I’m playing, and that rather sucks. I know, I know… That’s the life of a small streamer on Twitch, but it is still rather discouraging.

Now the friends I have made on Twitch are awesome, and they have been very supportive, which is great. And I’m not trying to whinge here (really I’m not). I guess I’m just saying that maybe I’d like to just play a game now and again? Without being scrutinized and/or mocked for it by Nameless Asshole on the Internet?

Another reason I’m considering dropping Twitch is that I get almost no viewers. Especially if there are other people streaming the game I’m playing – usually a small game with few people streaming it – the people watch those other streamers. Nothing wrong with that, people may watch what they want, and I should just “Git Gud” at the streaming game, right?

But look at our weekly podcasts, as a contrast. Here’s our monthly views/downloads for the last 30 days, as of 8/25/2019:

  • “Pixels & Dice” podcast – 9,444
  • “Knights of the Tabletop” podcast – 5494
  • “Roleplay Domain” podcast – 3757
  • All my views on Twitch, combined – 729

So, what does any of that matter? Well, I spend less time (on average) recording, editing, and publishing those three podcasts each week, than I do just livestreaming on Twitch twice a week. Oh, and for those who might say I need to just ‘stick with it, and things will improve’, here’s an interesting fact:

I’ve been doing “Knights of the Tabletop” with my gaming group since late June 2019. I’ve been doing “Roleplay Domain” podcast since mid-July 2019. I’ve been doing Twitch regularly for over 18 months now.

My stats on Twitch are actually backsliding, or at best remaining stagnant. Meanwhile, the three podcasts I’m producing are growing rather well, actually.

That all said, I don’t make any money on my podcasts, at all, unless you count the few pennies I make off of Google Ads each month. My Twitch livestream does actually bring in a few dollars (on average) each month, assuming I maintain the 1-2 subscriptions I average, and get an occasional handful of Bits tossed my way. But I didn’t get into any of these hobbies to get rich, just to have fun.

Podcasting is fun. Livestreaming, though… I’m not so sure about that, anymore.

Now then, I’m not dropping Twitch right now. I will be taking some time off here or there through early November, as My Lovely Bride™ have some events we have to attend, but I do plan to continue doing Twitch for now. That said, I need to find that spark again, whatever it was that got me hooked on livestreaming back in early 2018. If not, I expect we’ll be discussing this again, and at the very least I’ll be taking a hiatus at that time.

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